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Build on Strengths Instead of Correcting Weaknesses
The top non-fiction best sellers are all books on weight control and diet. All present plans on how to lose weight, follow a diet, modify behavior, etc. For the most part, the majority of people buying these books will fail only to be back at the self-help shelf the following week. Maybe that is why they keep selling.
The primary problem with most diet plans is that the focus is on what you can’t have, what you must give up, and a strategy for deprivation. The focus becomes correcting weaknesses instead of building on strengths. This leads to a negative focus, a critical appraisal of self, and a flood of guilt with the inevitable failure occurs.
The same principles apply to other changes in behavior as well. Whether trying to get better organized, balance your life, improve relationships, or increase productivity, the best approach is to build on the strengths you have and what is already working. It gives you a positive base of success that you know you can do. It also eliminates the negative thinking that sabotages your efforts.
Here is the process to build on your strengths:
- Create a picture of success. Before you start, it is important that you have the end in mind. What will you, the project, the event look like when completed? Develop the picture in your mind and then jot down as many details as you can.
- List five strengths that can get you there. Write them down; don’t just review them in your head. Head stuff doesn’t stick. Put them in a column with room to list the next section of behaviors. This is not the time to be modest, boldly identify the personality characteristics, training and expertise that can be useful. Don’t forget so-called “negative” traits. Stubbornness, for example, can be very helpful in making changes.
- Identify concrete behaviours you can do to build on those strengths. For example, you are working on better organizing; you might list something like “create three new files per week.” Want to lose weight? A notation might be, “eat five fruits and vegetables every day.” Dealing with relationship issues? Perhaps, “sending two personal notes per week” may help. You get the idea. Concrete tasks that focus on the positive to get you to your goal.
- Form a tracking system. If you don’t measure it, it will not happen. Put together a quick chart where you can monitor your results on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. A simple check list will do. This provides a visual snapshot for success and provides an impetus to continue.
- Celebrate results. And there will be results. Never, ever, view your efforts in a failure perspective. Didn’t do as well as you would like? Fine. Identify what you will do different for the next week. Didn’t follow through? Okay. Look at the times that you did and do more of that. Above all, don’t get into negative self-talk that you can’t do it. You can change any behavior you really want to change.
Does this sound like too much work? It really isn’t. It’s easy once you try it a time or two. It can also be used when coaching others, whether it is an employee, friend, or colleague.
Barbara Bartlein is the PeoplePro™. She helps businesses sell more goods and services by developing people. She can be reached at 888-747-9953, by email at: barb@barbbartlein.com or visit her Web site at www.ThePeoplePro.com.
Published in Networking Today, November 2003.
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