Networking Article from Networking Today Canada, Nat'l
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Who Are You and What Do You Do?
As I was out and about these past few weeks, visiting different networking groups in the local area, the first question that is typically asked is "Who are you and what do you do?"
Now, that question can evoke a ton of emotion within us. For many women in business, and in life in general (yes, I know this is a sexist comment – but, it's also based on my own observations) this question alone causes:
- Heart palpitations
- Redness on the neck and face
- Nervous hand gestures
- Sweaty palms and so much more
The internal, self-imposed, tension and pressure can be overwhelming for many women. For men, not so much – they have had much more exposure and experience to the whole networking situation. What causes this level of anxiety? From my observations, I would suggest:
- Negative self-talk ("I'm not as good as," "as smart as," "as eloquent as," "can't do this,” etc.)
- Lack of preparation
- Lack of clarity as to how to communicate exactly what we do
- Feeling shy
- Lack of practice
- Lack of self-confidence – to name but a few reasons
Some of the habits I've observed, in networking situations and in public, include staying with the small group of people that you know (comfort zone issues), not attending an event because just the thought of it is “too much to handle,” lack of eye contact, standing with arms crossed (not welcoming!), etc.
Well, the thing is, people are everywhere. Call it “networking” if you want, but from what I can see, we can all stand to learn a few basic human interaction skills for when we are in any situation and have the opportunity to meet new people – at home, at work, at church, at play.
In my book, "Leadership Gurus Speak Out!" I share some great information about networking. Here are just a few tips to get you going:
- Do you have enough business cards (and have you brought them with you?) You would be surprised how many people forget their cards. I always have a supply with me – in my purse, in my car, in my jacket when I'm out power walking too! You NEVER know when you are going to meet someone who wants to connect with you later.
- Do your homework! Who attends the event? Make a list of people you would like to meet. When I first moved to London, I attended a premiere fund-raising event. I was invited by a new business associate. Prior to going into the building, I said to her, "I'd appreciate your help in meeting 3 of the top leaders in the city who will be here – who are progressive, authentic, positive and effective, have decision-making abilities and who would be open-minded to the kind of work I do." Mission accomplished!
- How exactly will you meet and greet new people? Practice what you are going to say. I have a habit of listening to the other person first so that I get some perspective on what I am going to say in return, with respect to “what I do.”
- What questions have you prepared? Will you talk about community events, TV shows ("Dragon's Den," for instance), family events? BE an interesting person.
- Plan on how you will exit a conversation strategically and move on to meet other people.
- Plan on how you will manage food, beverage, and conversation all at the same time. When it's a “standing” situation, keep it simple and never try to juggle a drink, along with a plate of food – it's just easier.
Being around people, and having the opportunity to develop relationships, is essential to our well-being. So, next time you are out, anywhere, and someone asks the question: "Who are you and what do you do,” be prepared. More importantly, learn to ask the other person – and listen, with genuine interest. We all want to be heard and validated. Start today!
________________________________________
Pat Mussieux, Founder of Confidence and Courage, has a message of hope and success. For more than 20 years, Pat has studied the internal driving forces that create happiness and success at all levels. She knows what drives women, what inspires them and what it really takes to transform them from the inside out. As a coach, international speaker, author and radio host, she teaches women mindset and marketing techniques to help them figure out what they want to be when they grow up, how to get out of their own way, how to attract more clients, make more money and have more freedom – so they can develop the confidence and courage to live their best life – at any age! Pat is the author of the “Building Confidence and Courage Home Study System” and the book: “Who Am I Now? Simple Steps to Inventing Your Future – After Divorce, Retirement, Death of a Spouse, Empty Nest, etc.” Visit her Web site at www.confidenceandcourage.com to get your free copy of her CD: “Finding the Confidence and Courage To Live Your Best Life – At Any Age!”
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